I love leading Men's work! It feels weird because I never saw myself in this role or doing this work. And honestly, two years ago, if you asked me about men's work, I would have laughed at you. And yet here I am, and it feels incredible!
Last night, a group of men sat in a circle, some on the floor, some on yoga blocks, some on backpacks, and in camping chairs. The men came from different socio-economic groups, countries, ethnic groups, religions, and races and grew up with and without fathers, with kind and angry fathers. Some have kids, and some don't; some are married, and some are single.
What did these men have in common?
They all share a hunger for male real relationships and friendships beyond talking about sports, busting each other's balls, or discussing work. They shared how they seek depth and intimacy to talk about the things that bring them joy, their dreams and desires, and the things that challenge or bother them.
For over 90 minutes, we shared about the challenges we faced with our fathers, the uncomfortable moments of awkward conversations we've tried to have with them, the sometimes tricky task of trying to get them to share, and the challenges for some of us having father's who couldn't say "I love you.". We talked about why we love them, what we learned from them, and why we are grateful despite some of their flaws.
We laughed, bonded over shared experiences, and created awarenesses about not being alone in some of our most significant challenges or hardest moments. We came together in respect, to learn, and to expand who we are and who we want to be.
Unlocking Real Relationships Through Vulnerability and Honest Conversations
When I invite men into our men's groups or retreats, sometimes they say, "No" or "I'll pass." After last night it got me thinking when they say, "No," or "I'll pass," what are they saying it to? To the brotherhood? The connection? The friendships? The healing or repairing of their relationship with men? The real deep, honest conversations? Do they not want to learn more about themselves, their masculinity, or how they have more in common with other men than they think?
And, let's be real, I was once one of those men who would have said "No," or "I'll pass."
If I'm honest, which I wouldn't have known then, was because I was afraid to be truly seen. Fearful of showing who I really was. To let down the cool guy persona, to take off the mask and show who I was, what I feared, what I really wanted, and what I was feeling... And what if I showed all that and wasn't liked or accepted?
But when you're ready to be seen, to cultivate relationships with men that are safe, fun, powerful, nurturing, healing, inspiring, and dynamic, it makes sense to take the risk, to say yes. Because, who doesn't want more real friends, who doesn't wish for a more aligned community, who doesn't want more love, connection, support, and more people that see the world like you do or open up how you see the world?
Looking to join a virtual men's group and community that will transform your life? Look no further than The Torch! For just $50 a month, you can connect with men from all over the world and become the best version of yourself. But don't wait, you're expected to join at least two calls per month, and the mini-lessons on empowering topics will ignite a fire within you. Plus, members can access a private online community for support and advice.
And if you're really serious about personal and professional growth, becoming a better partner and parent, and creating brotherhood with other growth-minded men, you won't want to miss the Alchemy of Men Retreat. Happening in Fairview, Utah from June 7-11, this retreat is the ultimate investment in yourself. Choose from private rooms, shared rooms, or even a tent option for the outdoorsman.
For 5 days and 4 Nights, men will enjoy nature, meals by a New York 5-Star Chef, and a 10,000 sq foot house with a sauna, jacuzzi, and cold plunge. The retreat focuses on creating peace, connection, purpose, and clarity in your life. Don't wait to sign up or share this opportunity with the men in your life who could benefit from it!
And remember you can also check out my other blog posts: